Submission: ??????

What does it mean to submit? Not the dictionary definition, but how living people do it.

We went for premarital counselling when we were about to get married, I think thats a standard practice. A necessary one as well. I think everybody should go for a follow up session or two after a year or two of marriage. I don't think this because I assume everybody will have great big issues. I think this because of my/our own experience thus far in our marriage. After a year or so, you know your spouse, and sort of how he/she thinks. You have your life together figured out for now. To go later on again, you would have an experience of your own to relate to when you discuss things.

In premarital counselling, the minister couple tells you the basics on marriage that most people already know, but this way they get a better handle on it before it happens. The soon-to-be-married couple sits there nodding their heads, thinking what great ideas these older people have, and maybe even writing them down. Neither one really can quite imagine not wanting to do something their spouse would ask them to do. They don't have experience with handling the daily living habits of their partner. Neither one knows what funny thing the other does that one day will irk them so long, so bad till the top finally blows off the pot. They don't know.

Then off they go to get married. During the wedding service, listening to the preacher does happen, but not really. At least it didn't for me, I never did ask Noah if he did. What I'm saying is that the things the pastor is saying doesn't get heard by the bridal couple as much as by the young marrieds in the congregation. Then after a while, real life happens. Supper wasn't started on time, and after you did get it going, you found out you didn't have but two tiny potatoes for the pot of soup, then the milk in the soup curdled because it boiled, and the biscuits didn't turn out. Your new husband comes home with the announcement that his sister is passing through and is coming over for supper and will be there in 10 minutes. What would you do? The text book answer is you smile sweetly and say " O how wonderful!" before you lock yourself in the bathroom to cry.  Or is that the textbook answer?

How about when the two of you are working in the kitchen together, and of course your idea is going to be the best, because how many times has he baked cookies anyway?! Or which route to take to your destination, the one thats five minutes faster, or the one that takes the nice smooth highway? What is submission, and what is just giving in?  What is the difference?  How do you transition from the giving in to the submission?